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No withholding ... I drink wine because at any moment the man of my life can come to my door ... he does not know is that tonight I would say goodbye. I make it in the hope to find my heart, that it took me 10 years ago ... I still love it and the only way I found to tell him how I feel without fear of Judgement is a bottle of Masi that I had on hand ... Time passes, I increasingly fear. Fear of not having the strength to tell him what I want, fear not say everything I feel. Afraid it will be the last time I see ... afraid to fall apart ...

Just afraid ..

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I have a hole in the chest ... I can not find my heart! He left with 10 years ago. Whenever I meet him, he looks at me or talk to me, I feel my heart back to his place and beat again. But when he closes his eyes, mouth, or he turns his head, I feel that void again. It seems bigger every time, colder. It hurts ... I had my heart for a week and there's barely 10 minutes, he picked up and left. I knew it was to happen ... I knew I hurt but even knowing all that, I could not foresee how this void in my chest would hurt ...

I love him and always love