Gay Cruisin' Etiquette

Love with a capital A

is a writer Frederic Beigbeder I like and despite all the coke that goes into the nose, I think he has a beautiful philosophy of life. In his citation, one of them made me think!

- In life, there is only one great love. Those that precede it are running in and loves of those who follow him are love catching up!

WoW! So according to this quote, the great love, truth, happens only once. We work to have and once that's lost, we try to catch up to try to achieve what we already felt.

Me, I lived. Already. I was 16. I know and nothing and nobody is going to make me change my mind about that Love. I know that's it. The best feeling I could live my life. I speak and I have the chills.

Love with a capital A. The unconditional love for someone. The feeling of well being knowing that you'll talk to him during the day. The butterflies that makes you shudder when you walk out to meet him after a long evening of work. Find you in his arms and just enjoy the moment, in silence and only hear the beating of his heart. This feeling is so strong that it lacks words to describe it.

My mother had her preferences in friends that I brought in the family party and one day she told me: "Never will be like with him ... You had to skin!" I woke up in the morning smiles to himself if he saw it. I babies at once by chance I see it! (What was impossible lol)

butterflies and chills, he made me live every day in our history and even now 9 years later. I experienced the love that forgives all. All the pain and suffering that made me live only increased the love I had for him.

Now I like a completely different way, I love him like a little sister would like her big brother.

But if I ever lived is great love, is what does it mean that I will have to catch up for the rest of my life? or is it a mistake and you can live a love so powerful for a second time? And if that happens is that the first was truly a great love or just an impression? Imagine that for every man, woman is connected to live this love ... If they never meet, is what they have to live without it feeling too strong?

I know a lot of questions for such a short life, but without question ... I feel I do not advance;)

Martiny

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SOS Advisory souls in distress!

I love music! I even have to speak in a previous blog. Today, with a work colleague, I made a playlist on my iphone to relax the atmosphere. After a couple of songs, we noticed a resemblance very striking: the voices of singers. They all seem to suffer! And often when I listen to music, I say, 'Look how there seems to suffer! It's so ...! "

I do not know why but when I listen to Dallas Green, Milow, Robert Pattinson, Stone Sour, Kings of Leon etc. .... their voices come get me. They look closer to their emotions. You can feel the very molo voice. Feels thou, screws with them ... I am a girl who lives his life through my emotions so I was thinking it would be for that! BUT!

My colleague started to know me .. it is 1 year and a half we worked together and she told me: "It's not just the singers with a voice" suffering "that attract you! But of all men who suffer!"

When she told me that, I started to question me about the guy who made me tripper, I liked the guy I was. The distress is striking! Ok, they are not on the verge of suicide, but the distress is present at different levels. Every person has their inner pain, the rejection of a mother, a desire to please, insecurity, heartbreak unlived ... And they all had their method try to camouffler. Some used the infidelity, other violence or denial. But one thing is on, the pain managed to surface.

Someone dear to me, I could even easily hesitation in saying that never love someone as hard as I liked it, use the rejection. All his life, he was rejected by the people he loved. His mother, father, close friends ... everyone rejected. Yet! The years we were together made me see how he was inside. Much love to give but so afraid of losing the people around him. It has begun to lie to those he loved. He lied, he cheated on me (more than once) but even still, I can not blame him. His defense is displeasing to those concerned with him. He will reject as not to give up again.

Why I can not detach myself from him? I never know why I will not want to abandon it and despite his bad behavior, I defended it, saying only acted to protect themselves as well? Why I focus on someone like that? Why I definitely want to try to save him?

why when I am attracted to a man, he is hiding inside of him suffering? Why it is I who must pay part of the price? Because in reality, it's on I suffer in my turn! I have to undergo lse "side effects" of suffering and some are harder than others! This is not rosy to be wrong, but the physical or psychological violence can be harder to overcome. Rejection and lying are also effects that are harmful to me later in my future relationships ...

The real question is why I attract men suffering? Why I'm unconsciously attracted by this distress? How do I feel? Should I change something in my life ... ?

Martiny <3

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A dilemma draws another ...

As if my life could be even more fuckée ... Is what I'm going to get out one day?? I hope ben!

My last couple relationship was tumultuous, but was full of love. It ended badly, and since then I have a hard time finding someone. All my attempts were failures. Is there a link? I am not ben ...

We had seen this summer and I was afraid, so I fled ... What he did flee further ... But I spent on the internet and I decided that after so long, we could talk. I have therefore sent a friend request and any inbox messages I received ...

If I was expecting that! He met someone but said he still loves me and has not a day since we broke up or did not think of me ... ! (Euh!!) I liked this guy so the ... I have done so much, I'm so invested in this relationship because I thought that everything more ...

I so the last few months (or since we broke up) only. Do I feel like I'm bored because I need a man? or I miss him? Someone asked me if I'm stuck on a guy if I thought about him or if I just right? The answer is that I am, I do not think about him but when I listen to a hockey game, I eat the fondue, which I take Decarie and I see the exit for Pont Champlain, I see it is a factor that I see ... It's the little things that remind me that make me smile ..

My God! I'm tired turning!

Martiny

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City vs. North

I saw a dilemma.

To make a short summary of my situation, my life is separated into two worlds for me are quite distinct. The world of the city where I live, work and the world of the North, or I go down four days a week to relax me and make fun of my resources. For me, I can imagine that someone from the city between my world in the north but I have trouble with reverse, and that's where my dilemma is created.

These two worlds are so different. Without removing anything no, the world city is more superficial. Everything goes fast, job boards, a mere 5 to 7, cleaning, washing etc ... Quick, quick, quick! If we go out, it is seen, must be beautiful, must please. While in the north, everything is relaxed. People are more friendly. Everyone knows each other and all go out on Saturday was the only nightclub in the village. The world greeted me from the corner as the girl who comes to town every two weeks and we do the party without asking any question. What I think would be harder for someone from the north to the town. Initially, I knew a couple friends, but all their friends welcomed me and now I can go out alone in the village and to party with friends of friends ...

But they are living in a closed world. I love to laugh with them by treating them as co-blood because there is not a week or I am presenting a new cousin or a cousin or another. But the problem is for relationships. They come with all the northern world and created me one time you do a tour soon. And me I get in there!

Guys see me as an exit. Finally renewal. But I do not want a long distance relationship and certainly not home in the north. For now, I go every two weeks because I want to but if I have anything in town, I do not want to feel require assembling.

I'm mixed. A guy here do not hide to make me feel how he feels about me. At first I was very closed, but I'm fine with it. We had a super great weekend but every time we are away when I leave for the city. Yesterday was worse! We had a great day and the evening ended in front of the TV with a small fire. It was just right and I was wondering ... no questions But I have ripped the heart. For him it was too ... He found it too hard knowing that I do not want a relationship here.

I am with him ... What to do? Remove my barrièeres and try? Delete my selection criteria? This guy is not at all like the guy who normally attracts me ... Is it because it's time I try to get out of my comfort zone? Is what I hate in selfish because I need to feel desired and I feel it when he asks me about me? Is what I play with his emotions to feel better?

One thing I know is that it hurts me to have maybe lost a friend ...