Monday, October 26, 2009

Emergency Room Motion Sickness

Take time


How not to be relaxing in front of this beautiful landscape? Well that's what I see right now ... This is the view I have of my room with my father. (This is a photo he took a few days ago)


Yesterday I sat on my bed, the lake was calm and hundreds of stars reflected on the lake. After this emotional weekend, I found myself in a state of calm and I did appreciate the moment. I would have stopped time. My mind seemed clear. Nothing was complicated.


It's amazing how the universe m surrounds has a direct influence on how I feel. In town, everything goes fast, everything is urgent and I spend 3 / 4 of my life running from right to left. When I arrive in the north, four days per 2 weeks, my life changed completely. I take time for myself. I take time to breathe, watching the scenery and take stock of my life.


How not to marvel at such a beautiful sunrise?

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Best Surefire P6 Drop-in

Being alone?


Sometimes I wonder if I'd be better off alone? Let me explain ...


A guy with whom I went to college got in touch with me ... To put into context what the guy is totally my style and our party end of session, he try to kiss me but I had a boyfriend. Despite the numerous (and too) shooters we had eaten I managed to say no! (Ask me how!) So he got in touch with me ...

I'm in a period in my life where I'm tired of fooling around so I told him bluntly told me too but if it is just to sleep with me, forget it I'm looking for anything serious. He told me that too. So I was more than happy BUT ...


course, it took a but! It shows interest me except that I feel that it's "bullshit". I'm in a bad way and only thing I want is the warmth just a little ... nothing sexual ... just comfort. I sleep very badly and I constantly staring into the water. He keeps telling me to call him when I have nightmares of the text but the problem is that it does not ... I thought it was flat because it really interest me but what I really want to run after someone without being on anything? No, I think not ... I am quite breathless from a couple of years ...


I'm tired and told him it was okay, maybe it was just not into me and I understand that ... I would also said I would stop trying to call or text and when he wants me to give me a sign of life ... what he does ...
So how I see it? Maybe we just not looking the same? Maybe we have not the same constraints, criteria ...?? I do not want to complicate anything and I have not the strength to start the big game of seduction with all the rules A, I do not understand and Two, I know that I will respect not because I'll listen to my emotions instead of reason ...



I say then is that I'm better off alone, or the false sense comfort enough for me? Does the mere fact that I repeat: "Worried you not! I'm here for you! You can call me anytime!" is useful to me? Or harm me? Because basically, my sense of comfort, I did not. At the end of the day whatever happens I'm alone ....


Martiny

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Non Profit Community Service Letter

Death ...

Someone said: "Life is a sexually transmitted fatal disease and nobody can escape!" Everyone eventually dies ... But God knows it hurts! Life is expensive and something that we can drag their hands so quickly.

the night of February 16 to 17 2005, I returned home my boyfriend during an ice storm. I lost control of my vehicle and I found myself opposite direction on the highway, facing in the left lane. In less than two, I was caught by a mini-van. I could die ... People who were telephoned 9-1-1 by large random friends of mine. (No one knows they followed me and that was me in the accident) At their appeal, they told the dispatcher to hurry because the person must be dead because of the impact. When police arrived on the scene, they told my parents to start praying because it is a miracle I'm still alive.

I had several injuries and I have to live every day with permanent sequelae. At first I thought it was very hard. I lost the use of my legs for a month. One of my friends, my sunshine, came to change my mind one day and he listened to me complain. "I can not dance, snowboarding, jogging make my ... (the list was long!) And very quietly, he looked me straight in the eye and said:" Hey, shut up! You're alive! "And he was right ...

Now I feel better ... yes it hurts ... yes I am limited in my activities but I am alive ... Where I was getting with it is that you can lose everything in so little time ...

For nearly a year, my dad moved to the north. His dream has always been: To have a house in the north with an incredible view. Following her divorce, nothing was holding him in town, so he found his dream house and moved. Fortunately, he already knew people in his new paradise. To make a short story on these people, they are retired and do not have or see their children. So when I get off at Tremblant, I have my biological dad but dad Ben and J-Guy Dad, Mom and Dad Didi France. If I go out on a Saturday evening, Papa Ben will tell me to watch the boys while Dad J-Guy I will say be careful on the road.

5 weeks ago, Daddy J-Guy began to have pain in one hand. He helped my dad for his house and he believed he was infected with cement. Time has passed and it got worse. He went to the hospital and they found cancerous masses. In less than three weeks, his cancer has spread and became generalized. I ride in the north for a weekend in two, due to my work schedule. There is a week and a half, I paid a visit to Papa J-Guy to the hospital. His condition was not improving and I did not take the chance to come back two weeks later and we go out.

Yesterday at 23:00 Father Jean-Guy has left to become an angel in health. In five weeks, his life and also that of his recent wife (he married 2 years ago), his family and friends was shaken by the disease.

We Will Miss You xxxxxx RIP

Felix The Cat Clock In Movie

New Project! ;)

Good new project ...
(Max is the one that I reveal my secret little ..;))

Write a blog makes me so good when I begin a novel ... My life, my friend (s) that I love and who inspire me are in the forefront of this fiction novel. (This is not our lives from A to Z lol) but experience with it and another by.
Andie
My best friend is my muse. It is in my life for 12 years and I love it. Nick, my kitten, my life without him would be flat ... It always makes me smile. Of course, men who changed my life and that of Andie will take a special place in the book ...

A great adventure begins ...

Sunday, October 18, 2009

White Milky Discharge 3dpo

I know how to write

Looks like I have many things in mind that I do not know what to write. I feel that my sky is always overcast. If by chance a sunbeam slips, a cloud comes fast on hold to let my heart without heat.
When I saw something positive and I'm happy, there is always a black cloud just spoil my happiness no matter how small it.
head I'm so full that I am unable to write sentences supposed ...

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Can Smell Burning With Blender

one month later ...

Now almost a month since I did my spring cleaning ... and the question: Do I feel better?
I think I can say Yes! I learned a lot about me. When I studied in college, there it 8 years (My God already!), I am told by my wonderful teachers that cinema was a closed environment, so everyone should love us and that we should make still more so that people appreciate our work. Then, at university, the same history repeats itself ... So for 6 consecutive years, I have repeated to be the best and always give more so that everyone loves and appreciates me.
I know I'm not fast fast, but I just realized it's not sane ... at least not for me ... What all this pressure I put myself made me sick ... I now feel a weight off my shoulders ...
Is what I'll be able to not flinch? Is what I'll be able to accept the rejection of some people although I know they are not important in my life and the only place they occupy is that part of me that wants to please the people? If for 6 years I've been repeating all this, how long it takes to erase it all from my memory?
Each day is a learning to fill that part of me by people who love me for who I am ... and not by superficial people that fill a vacuum by a vacuum ...
Martiny